When it comes to love spells, everyone seems to be focused on attracting or manifesting the ideal partner. However, imagine how unstoppable you’d be if you had yourself in your corner. You can easily use love magic to secure the heart of the most important person in your life… You!
A person who loves themselves will make good choices. They will choose things, people, places, and situations that contribute to their wellbeing. They will choose their own happiness, no matter how difficult that is. They’ll know their worth and they won’t waste their time in toxic situations that suck the life force out of them. A person who loves who they are and practices radical self-acceptance is very powerful. They’re confident in themselves and their own abilities. They can manifest and attract much more than someone who is insecure. A person who is authentically who they are will become magnetic to all sorts of high vibrational people and opportunities. Self-love should, therefore, be a pillar for the craft of every witch.
1. Make Rose Quartz Water
Rose Quartz is the stone of self-love par excellence. It brings you closer to Divine Love, starting by yourself. Water, on the other hand, can create a perfect copy of whatever energy it comes into contact with. This is why Feng-Shui experts warn against water that turns all bubbly after being left in a room for long – it has absorbed all the negativity in the room and shouldn’t be consumed, as you would be getting all the negativity of the room into your body.
How does this apply to Rose Quartz water? Well, if it comes into close contact with water, the water will create an exact copy of its energetic vibration, related to self-love and compassion. You can use this water in various ways:
- You can drink it and make the energy of Rose Quartz part of your own energetic field. You can combine it with the properties of tea, herbal tea and coffee to create a magical beverage that integrates self-love.
- You can use it to wash your face as a way to make peace with your physical appearance.
- You can use it to make Moon Water to integrate the properties of each moon phase.
- You can place it as an offering on your Altar as a way to express your commitment to self-love to your Deities.
- You can place it in a diffuser to make an aura spray, or inside your perfume bottle.
- You can put a few drops in your sunscreen or night cream.
Among others. How do you make it, though? Make sure the Rose Quartz tumble is cleansed and charged. So as to make the water non-toxic and apt for human consumption, place the tumbled or raw stone inside an empty glass. Put this glass inside a larger glass container such as a bowl or a glass lasagna pan. Fill with water but not to the point that the water goes above the rim of the glass. In this way, the stone and the water are in close contact without physically touching each other. Cover this up with plastic and leave outside for a few hours.
Preferably, store in glass bottles or diffusers. You may use plastic containers if you cleanse them thoroughly. Once the crystal water is in its new container, grab a hardback book and gently but firmly tap the bottle or diffuser against the book a few times to activate it. Water also absorbs the energy of words and symbols. You can paste pieces of paper with affirmations on the outside to make your crystal water stronger. Make sure you store the crystal water away from things that have their own strong vibrations, like electronic appliances such as cellphones.
If you’ve had enough of Rose Quartz already or you feel like you should go in a different direction, try making crystal water with Morganite. Whereas Rose Quartz deals with a more “mundane” kind of love, Morganite is connected to Divine Love. This love is more devotional and unconditional than the love we feel every day. It’s a step up from Rose Quartz and it can make for excellent crystal water.
2. Meditate with the Empress or the Queens
Lacking self-love has a lot to do with a wounded Inner lunar polarity (we prefer to call the Feminine yin or lunar polarity and the Masculine solar or yang polarity so as to break with the gender binarism that saying Feminine and Masculine entails). Where can we find examples of healthy and empowered lunar archetypes? Exactly, in the Tarot! Meditating with any of the Queens or the Empress can help you see your own value and heal inner wounds. We recently wrote a post on how to meditate with Tarot and combine it with manifestation.
How do you choose which Queen to meditate with? Remember that each is associated with a different element. The Queen of Wands is associated with Fire. The Queen of Cups is associated with Water. The Queen of Swords is associated with Air. The Queen of Pentacles is associated with Earth. The Empress combines the best qualities of each Queen. It’s also associated with the planet Venus, which rules over Taurus and Libra. You can look at your birth chart and see if you’re lacking an element. Use the Queen of that element to meditate, or, if your Venus has a lot of harsh aspects, you can meditate with the Empress.
You can also base yourself on the qualities of each Queen. The Queen of Swords is great at setting boundaries, though she can also be overly defensive. On the other hand, the Queen of Wands is lively and energetic, though she can be impulsive at times. Think about the qualities you want to cultivate and choose accordingly.
3. Make a spell jar for self-love
You make spell jars for any sort of energy you want to encapsulate. The idea is for you to make a spell jar and keep it close to you, by your bedside or even in your pocket. You can also make a necklace by pasting a ball from where a pendant can hang once the jar is done right on top of it, and putting a chain through it.
You’ll need these things:
- Small pieces of Rose Quartz that fit into the jar. Crystal confetti is useful for this, or you can get small tumbles here:
- Dried rose petals
- a jar with a lid. You can get a small glass spell jar here if you want for it to be aesthetic. If that doesn’t matter to you, you can reuse a sauce glass jar or even a plastic jar if you cleanse it thoroughly.
- Pink Himalayan Salt
- Brown sugar
- A white or pink plain piece of paper
- A pink or black pen
- A white chime candle
- A pink or white chime candle
- Olive oil or Rose essential oil
- Some matches
- Two candle holders for the candles
- A wand or Athame. It doesn’t have to be fancy, you can use a pencil or a crystal wand as long as you cleanse it.
Cleanse all the ingredients thoroughly, both physically and energetically, as well as the surface where you will assemble the spell jar. Once this is done, you have to protect yourself. You can skip the next step if you are using a ward or some other form of protection, but, if you have no clue about protection, follow this step as we describe it.
Open up the water tap and let the water circulate for a couple of seconds. Place your white candle under the tap and imagine the water taking the negativity away. Wipe it down with a paper towel. Carve your name and date of birth on it with your Athame or the back of a match. Inhale and exhale thinking about your intention, which is protection. Put some oil in your fingers and anoint the candle by putting oil on it, from the top to the bottom to attract protection. Light a match and hold the flame of the match to the base so it can stand on the candle holder. Secure on the handle holder and put some of the Pink Himalayan salt on the base. Light the candle and snap your fingers three times. Then, say, “As long as this candle is lit, I am protected by my spirit guides, and nothing but light can interfere with my spell.”
Invoke the spirits of the East, South, West, and North or your preferred Deity by moving your wand, Athame or pencil in a clockwise motion. Open the jar and place the salt, rose petals, brown sugar, and Rose Quartz tumble inside. Grab the piece of paper and write “I, (Name), practice self-love everyday. I love myself and my actions, thoughts, feelings and words reflect this.” Cleanse the pink candle with water and carve your name and date of birth on it. You can also carve words like self-love, self-esteem, or the symbol for Venus on it. Inhale and exhale on it concentrating on your intention, which is now self-love. Anoint the candle with oil from the top to the bottom. Light a match and put the flame to the bottom so it starts to melt. Secure the candle on the candle holder and place the rose petals, sugar and salt on the bottom. Light the candle and snap your finger three times. Leave the jar nearby so it absorbs the energy of the spell.
Once the pink candle is about to burn down, close the jar and use some of the wax from the pink candle to seal it. If they haven’t burnt down completely, smut out the fire from the pink and the white candle in that order using a spoon or something like that. Go in a counterclockwise direction with your Athame, wand, or pencil thanking your spirit guides, Deities and guards and telling them the spell is over. Dispose of the rest of the candles and the herbs, and cleanse everything else.
Don’t do this during an eclipse, as the energy can be erratic. The best time to do it is during a Full Moon if you need to release negative thought patterns. Do it during a New Moon to attract more positive thoughts about yourself.
4. Sleep with Pink Tourmaline and/or Pink Opal
In contrast with Rose Quartz and even Morganite, which can be very energizing, Pink Tourmaline and Pink Opal are more relaxing and soothing. Thus, they’re more adequate for rest and sleep. When you sleep, you are more receptive to the energy of crystals, so these two can work on your subconscious while you are catching up on some beauty sleep. Make sure they are cleansed and place them under your pillow or by your bedside. You can also try putting on one or two drops of Rose essential oil on your pillow case. You’ll have sweet dreams that will remind you of your value.
You can also combine either of these crystals with Jade to have dreams that help you identify and heal any blocks that may be standing in the way of you loving yourself. Whenever you use Jade for sleep, it’s always best to combine it with a dream journal.
5. Journal to heal your Inner Lunar polarity
Our Inner Feminine or Inner yin Polarity is where our love for everyone, including ourselves, lies, as well as our knowledge of our own inner value. If you have any wounds here, it’s important to heal them to get in touch with your sense of self-love and your inner value. During a quiet time in which you’re mostly by yourself, get into a calm frame of mind and journal about prompts like these:
Do I feel worthy of receiving good things? Why or why not?
Do I make time just for me, to do things I enjoy and that are good for me? Why or why not?
Do I listen to my body? How? What can I do to listen to my body more?
Do I listen to my gut/intuition? How can I listen to it more?
What do I think about my mother(s)/mother figures? Did they impact the way in which I treat myself? How?
Have I forgiven my mother(s)/mother figures?
Over time, you’ll realize that you’re gaining a lot of insight into your own Inner Lunar polarity and that you’re starting to heal.
6. Work on attachment issues with a therapist
Sure, this is costly, but it’s also one of the kindest and best things you can do for yourself. Going to therapy in general is great for all kinds of purposes, but especially for self-love. Psychology is another kind of magic – one that’s peer-reviewed and has professionals that must keep it private and keep to a code of ethics to prioritize your well-being.
Discussing your attachment style and your fear of loneliness or rejection, among other issues, may be one of the most important investments you can make on yourself.
7. Draw a bath for self-love
As we’ve already said, water can carry whatever energy you put into it. This is why it’s a great idea to draw a bath with certain ingredients related to self-love. A bath will also cleanse any negativity or insecurities standing in your way to a healthy self-esteem.
Pluck the petals of a rose. Save the thorns for other types of spell. Draw a bath at your preferred temperature. Put some Pink Himalayan Salt, Rose Quartz, and the petals of the rose in the bath, and get inside. Let the water absorb anything that doesn’t serve you and allow your body to be infused with all of these great ingredients.
8. Enchant a self-love playlist
Put together a playlist full of songs that have a positive message about self-love. I’ve put together one for this post with some Reiki that should reach whoever listens to it. You can add your own spell to it, too.
How to Make a Sigil
You can, for example, make a sigil for self-love and include it in the playlist. For that, write your intention, for example, LISTENING TO THIS PLAYLIST INCREASES MY SELF-LOVE. Take out any vowels and repeating letters, so you’re left with something like this: LSTNG H PY CR FV. Then, assign a number to each consonant. You can go through alphabetic order, for example, B is 1, C is 2, etc. Then, write all the numbers in a circle, like so:
Draw a point where the first letter starts. In this case, it’s L, which corresponds to 9. Draw a point where the first letter is, in this case, S in 15, and join these two points with a curved motion.
Continue to do so until you’ve joined all the letters. You’ll get a drawing like this one.
The idea is to make it simple and memorable, so make a few changes so the drawing becomes simpler. I came up with this:
Now, you need to activate it by doing something energetic. I suggest you do something related to that, like playing the playlist and dancing to it while concentrating on the symbol. Now, it’s activated! Draw it with your hand on the playlist several times. You can use both my symbol and the playlist I have provided here, they are both activated and ready to use, or you can make your own to make it more personal.
Do use sigils with care, Chaos Magic can be misused very quickly.
9. Integrate self-love into your morning routine
You can integrate a ritual for self-love to your morning routine. For example, you can infuse your jewelry with this intention. Pick up a bowl made of an organic material like wood, glass, or porcelain. Put in a base of raw rice or salt if the crystals you’re about to use won’t get damaged by it (Rose Quartz won’t). Then, put in some crystals related to self-love (Rose Quartz, Pink Tourmaline, Pink Opal, Morganite) and herbs like dried rose petals. Write on a small piece of paper the world self-love in pink or black ink. Put all of that inside. Store your jewelry in there. When you get it out of the bowl, it will be infused with your intention. Every so often, take out the rice and the herbs and throw them out. Replace them for fresh ones and cleanse the crystals.
You can also use a Clear Quartz point and the Rose Quartz bar to draw the sigil for self-love on your body, or paste the word self-love written in pink on your perfume bottle so it absorbs it.
10. Make some herbal tea
We’ve only discussed roses so far, but there are many herbs, flowers, and greenery that have correspondences with love (and, by extension, self-love). Most flowers have a correspondence with love, as well as herbs and greenery like Basil, Calendula, Cinnamon, Ginger, Marjoram, Oregano, and Mint. Basil, Ginger, Cinnamon, Oregano, and Mint are all safe to drink in the form of tea. You can combine it with Full Moon Water to let go of insecurities, New Moon Water to attract self-love, and even Rose Quartz water.
11. Ask the Tarot some questions about yourself
Your favorite Tarot deck (or even a beloved oracle deck) can give you some honest compliments and information about your gifts, strengths, and value. Just grab it and ask a few questions like these:
What added value do I bring to my workplace?
What does my family/friends most admire about me?
(Ask only the Major Arcana) Which powerful Archetype do I easily embody?
What do strangers most admire about me?
What’s a talent I am not using enough?
What’s a strength I don’t give myself credit for?
What draws potential romantic partners to me?
The answers may be a pleasant surprise, especially if you’ve been hard on yourself lately.
In short, there are many crystals and herbs that can help you on your journey to self-love. The Tarot may also be a tool that can help, as well as certain spells and sigils. Therapy is a form of magic that you should look into as well.
What do you do, witchy or otherwise, to work on your self-esteem? Tell us in the comments!
Murphy-Hiscock, Arin. The Green Witch: Your Complete Guide to the Natural Magic of Herbs, Flowers, Essential Oils, and More. Adams Media, 2017.